How it is for him

*read till the last para, coz' that has best described my life*

Having a non business minded person in family and that too your own dad is such a setback for your fresh mind bubbling with ideas. You wouldn't know what negative aspect he may bring next and your happiness factor will be slashed down to half. He is a very good critic; he analyses well and gives an honest opinion. Only most of the time, he forgets to elaborate on the positive points. It’s not that he is not supportive about my art; he lets me have my freedom, but when it comes to asking for compliments from dad, or a little help concerning my work, he doesn't seem that enthusiastic.

Lately one incident took place and I so wished I had not asked him to drop me at my clients. By the time I reached her place I was hot and red with anger and tears. Lack of patience, lack of understanding as to why the need to show your availability to your clients, lets him speak anything without realizing it’s hurting me deep. I don’t want to do an unsatisfactory job and leave an unsatisfied client. I wish I could explain him this; instead I always get “It’s no use arguing with you.” remark.

It’s not that he is worried about me spending so much, indeed he questions me sometimes why the need to charge so much from a client and asks me to focus on learning right now. See, there it is. It’s the non business mind speaking.  At first even I found it tough to price my work but then you have to, if you want to make your art your career; there is no other option.

I have been so upset for the last few days. Getting irritated by people around, crying off in room, not talking properly to family members, being annoyed at little things, shouting unnecessarily; facing all those mood swings after a long time. Although thankfully crying for career related issues increases your own importance in your life.

Same as my dad even I am not a marketing person, but I do want to spend these 2 years improvising the same. I feel I have moved ahead, at least from where I started. I read this book about a young entrepreneur and how he faced ‘annu aunty and opened a million dollar company’, so much of it is true for any youth in India, so much of it is my story. There are some teachings at the end of it; one of them says do not let your parents be a part of your business idea until you have done it big.

I am determined to do it big. You know I have lived those days back in school when I wanted to be a part of IITs and IIMs, unaware of where my interest lies; only to make everyone proud. Then there came a phase in my life where I accepted life as it is and wished no more but a happy married life. But now, I have entered a stage where I am doing what I love to and firm about my decision; where I want to achieve heights and leave a mark; where I am not blaming anyone because it’s solely my choice and where I am happy.

Pakhi