Realizations this Diwali

Okay! Been a long time I typed something. Here is how I celebrated Diwali.

I realized that mom and dad have grown old. Dad’s accident added to the aging has made him more or less dependent. Also the trait that comes in his genes of repeatedly explaining every little thing makes it hard for anybody to work with him peacefully. Mom being a lady with high self esteem has great expectations. How much ever I try to cope with her, it gets harder and harder.

I realized what a great help she was; my big sister. She could help dad with the outside work and at the same time Mom in the kitchen while I would be one couch potato with a book in hand making the typical excuse of studying.

I realized that despite all the fights I have with my cousin, staying at our place, she has become an integral part of my life. Her absence was felt this Diwali.

I realized that I am going through a lot of changes within. I have turned out to be an emotional fool in my way of becoming an independent practical woman. I cry frequently, I get these terrible mood swings. Whenever possible, I find my way out of the crowd.

I realized that I took some of my worst decisions 2 years back despite knowing my capabilities. It will take 2 more years to have an engineering degree in my hand and finally letting myself free for the future in photography and reel-ated fields.

I realized that although I didn’t give importance to things like “peace of inner soul”, “om shaanti”, for I thought these are for the cowards, they matter a lot to shape up your thoughts; especially in age like this.

I realized that all this while my thoughts have matured. Whatever happened I have learnt from it. I realized that may be staying in Indore was a good decision after all. Because I was a kid at heart until few days back, who couldn't have survived if it wasn't my family and friends.

PS: I don’t have to mention this but I love my mom and dad. It’s just the side effects of aging which no cream can cure, and my end teens that it is becoming hard to blend in at the moment.