A letter to Arpanikita

It was their Second Wedding Anniversary and a pictorial story of their journey together was the best gift I could have thought of...

^_^

...one of the pages in my picture book read,

Aaahaa! What a beautiful collection of pictures! With full modesty I accept all the compliments, thank you- thank you! Haha! Jokes apart, Didi and Jiju, you both know how much we all love you; You are the reason the two most amazing families met and became one; Thank you to the two sets of mummyjis and papajis to look up your names in the patrika and calling their respective panditjis. And bless you panditjis and whoever behind the making of this beautiful couple, you did a wonderful job!

Cheers to your two years of togetherness! Your frequent visits to Indore have always been such a delight. After all they add a no. of food stations to my life and fill my cupboard with a pile of clothes from janpat and sarojini. Haha! I am such a lucky sister and a luckier saali. The glow on moms face each time you guys come is not hidden from any of us. Also my emotional dad sometimes shed a tear or two out of extreme happiness at seeing you both. You guys have made me believe in arrange marriages, not that I was ever against; only it’s a common topic of debate and I have the best example in front of me to speak in for the motion.

I wish you both from each member of the family a very happy married life; a lil chiggu whose pictures would be clicked monthly and who would be all pampered by her/his maasi! Space limits me otherwise I could have gone on and on…

Loads and loads of  love,

Pakhi

Sev ki kahanii, meri zubaani

Born in Ratlam and brought up in Indore, sev run in my very veins. If you think I mean namkeen, then you are certainly mistaken. They are SE-O, exactly the way I have put it. You bump into an Indori, you are bound to hear tales about the variety of sevs we proudly consume; from khatta meetha to tez tarrar, from ratlami to beekaneri, from long to heeng, from bhel waale sev to mote sev. Don't be shocked if you find us sprinkling a handful of sev on almost every dish we eat. Indeed we provide sev ki sabji in weddings too, be it Sayaji or pappu ka dhaaba, a sev ki sabji in the menu is a must! While I was a kid, spicy vegetables was a big no-no; but a bowl full of sev didn’t affect me at all; it was an act of sheer pleasure. As teenage arrived, my habit of sev eating was visible all over my face, yet I just couldn’t let it go. For us Indorians being  a seo-holic is a matter of pride. It defines us. In college, the moment everybody open their tiffin, I jump on the one who gets the lil' dabba of sev along with the regular roti-sabji. Aah bless them all. If you are meeting an Indori who by misfortune has to live outside this beautiful city of food, to earn some extra bucks and wondering what to take along; a packet of fresh sev would be enough. No not the the Haldirams, mind you! They are good, no doubt; but we love and promote our local shops more. You can get them at Nakoda on kanadia road or from Mahendra near saket paan wala if in my area else you can just google it, Google baba shall know the sev hotspots in Indore. I would conclude with a fact; A hardcore Indori can never give up on two things; being called an Indori even if he is residing in some US city and well of course, the legendary SE-O!

Jai ho!

Jai Bhiyo

Jai Seo!

Pakhi

To Joshi

2.12.2013

9:23 pm

Vipulllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Long time I wanted to write something for you; something about you. Thought by birthday it would be done, but naah, as if the universe was trying all its force to stop me. But hey I fought, skipping Sayajis yummy delicacies I am trying to scribble something I had long planned.

I am happy to have met a person like you, Vipul. Easy  to go, living life his way, not caring about the society, not faking out for the people around; I like you just the way you are. Yes we do make fun of your reactions, yes we keep puling your leg but the best part is,  you don’t pretend to be someone else, just to fit in. Apart from many rare things you are born with ( I am Paridhi and its my soul right to tease :P ), this quality in you is the rarest and the best thing about you.

I would come to your cooking skills later, now that you owe me some of your sandwiches (even the rice would do) ; It's good to know a guy who is so open about his emotions. Our time to time Fb chats, discussing over random feelings and issues, you have a filled a space in my jigsaw puzzle dude.

For the rest of you who are reading this, this guy is the first I have met, who planned a b'day gift for his mom or who was bold enough to tell. He lives away from his parents, travels alone to cities, he is again a person who is happy with a book (geography book for some rare reasons), coffee and ticket to anywhere on the planet. You meet him, you greet and you will end up with a long chat, FOR SURE. Topic, it could be anything. Sports to Kitchen; History to Bollywood; Virtual to reality any damn thing, so don't worry just say a  Hi.

Joshi, It's great have you as our friend. It's great to have the worlds tastiest tiffin around waiting to be eaten at quarter past twelve. Haha! I was really glad to hear that you enjoyed your b'day, the end of teen  and the start of a new journey…

Wish you all the very best in life. Wish you get a life you would love, a partner who would love you…

Your nautanki Friend

Paridhi 

aka LOL Jain

The Break-UP

Life without you is really cool. I mean it. I was tired of being available 24*7! Three years of you and I badly needed a break. I know you are very important and pretty famous too these days but bullshit! I am sorry but I really wanted some time with myself; These are crucial years of my life and I wanted no one to pull me back. Along with momentary fun you have also given me heart aches, you know, but just to lessen the drama I never confessed it. Now I am. Of course  I have had fun with you too, you were always there no matter what, I met new interesting people through you but it's time we depart, for a while may be but we must. I have changed, I feel more mature and less jobless. I feel to spend time in more constructive things rather and with people who give me happiness in true sense. No I am not upset neither is it any of my mood swings like others are sensing; it's me in completely fine state biding you farewell.

At Peace

Pakhi

I really never had a chance to write a break up letter before so I thought why not! Haha! Just to tell you guys, I was a sincere whatsapp user; indeed one of the earliest birds who had a phone with this app. And so it was just a few WA people in my list back then. But now being online for everyone every time, constant messages, the groups vibrating all day long, also those insomniacs messing your sleep; I started to hate this very app I teased the WA-less community earlier for. I was cheesed off with my own  habit of checking the phone every now and then. Also it wasn't that every time your phone was buzzing with messages; when it didn't I found myself completely clueless about how to pass time; a perfect situation for all the negative thoughts to dwell in my head. The most irritating part was when people, to save on their balance, would WA you the smallest of details and would force you to do the same. ME, I am not good with touch phones and whenever such situation occurred I felt like throwing my brand new b'day gift. I was pulled back to old qwerty keypad for the same reason. I really miss those old phone call times. Three to four phone friends, laughing and sharing life. Or even the SMS times were good enough. At least you didn't appear online or your inbox wasn't filled with 'Why you ignoring me' messages, from people who believe me won't care even if I die.The funniest part of all was on deleting WA, hardly two to three people called me to ask why, and all of them thought something miserable has happened. NO NO NO! It's just I have been wanting to do it for long, but couldn't for this and that reason; the easy access to assignments and practical files you know; but easy access of ME was simply not my intention. Life is okay with few people in it; but few real people.

Pakhi

C'mon You Guys!

Have to prepare two presentations in one night yet I am sitting idly, eyes glued to my facebook page, checking for updates every now and then.  I am so excited about my future. Of course there are going to be times where I can lose all hope and break, I just passed through one but then  you have to be fighter, a creative one indeed. One has to evolve new methods, come up with exciting strategies which keep boosting you up! Yesterday something magical happened; 500 likes on a picture clicked by me in some 40 minutes was unbelievable! A totally *jumping japang jumpuk jumpuk* situation!

I feel proud of the fact that I have never ever hidden anything from my parents. I do belong to that harebrained lot! I do crazy stuff. Yet I am aware of my limits and my freedom. Not praising myself here, no intentions too, only feeling lucky to have these awesome guys as parents! I still remember how well they supported me when I was going through a depressing phase an year back, and it was all about the boy issue, but then I had my dad believing in me and cheering me up! I had my mom filling me with positivity! It's definitely the results of some good deeds in former life, I am so sure of it! I am easily given permission because they know they can trust me, I am allowed to travel alone without a second thought, I am allowed to hang out with guys and meet new people; Unlike other girls of my age, I have never been grounded, never ever the internet facility or mobile phones were snatched away, never did they inquire about whom I texted  with or chatted on facebook or questioned any of my pictures. You know even if you want to try something which your parents don't agree of at first, you have to make them see your view points. You should debate and win that if you believe in your decision; We share a generation gap with them and no doubt there are going to be hitches in the journey. I have found friends entering into relationships and afraid to reveal it to their parents, general case in India. I have found them lying to their parents. I have found them complaining about the junked thoughts of their parents yet I have also found them with a sense of guilt. Guilt, why does that come? If you think you are on the right track, why then the quandary!

Isn't that something to ponder about! Be firm about your decisions and be confident to face anybody  belying them. Teenage is where you make mistakes, learn and grow. But entering twenty and still not sure of your choices, well it's time for some introspection, isn't it?

Pakhi

Life#Mobile#parking slip#discount

DAY 1

Be it 2 o clock at  night, be my eyes all red and wanting to be shut at the very moment, be my handkerchief all soaked up of the fluid from my nose, I have decided to  finally write today; something good ; and not the write ups I usually dump into the private folder. Although I believe, with start so fuildy, why not the private folder again.

Anyway, let's talk of better things in life. Let's talk of life. How about my life. A girl who without thinking takes lift from these unknown guys in car, on their way to college as she missed her bus; who frequently takes rides to home from mere acquaintances; who would sit in a garden with her friends and out of nowhere the idea to mess up the guys hair sitting peacefully in the neighboring group would eat her so much, that she ends up doing it; who  sometimes just for the sake of fun and humor in life would go out of bounds and give her no. to fb strangers (only the ones who win the stranger race, wohooo); who unlike other upper middle class Indian girls would take a van instead of an auto to experience the worst ride ever! For people out there this girl is insane. I mean before jumping into somebody's car, firstly ladies don’t do that, and if they do do, they would go for the long courtesy drama. In my case, "dude thanks a ton!" That's it! And when I tell my friends all about what *new* I did today, I generally don't receive good vibes. They fill my poor little heart with guilt and put my brain under self scrutiny. Of course except for those who are fascinated by my spontaneity but don’t have the guts to be the same.

Well it's not easy to be ME. 

I am afraid of commitment. I am afraid of broken relationships. I am afraid of getting hurt. And so I am ME. A girl with a pair of jeans, a T, a  camera and exploring the world all by herself.

One uneventful day leads to a depressing night and if you are me, you are definitely hovered by thoughts of loneliness... Like it is happening now. Life has been so monotonous for a while. Same routine old life, no excitement, no thrill! Aah! It's so blue in here. And I guess even this note Is going to be discarded into the Private Folder….

Sadness strikes at midnight

Pakhi

DAY 2

And the other day I was searching for some excitement in this mundane life. Who knew that tomorrow was bringing with it a series of events, giving me jitters, taking life out of me for a while and then blowing in again a sense of relief.

I parked my vehicle, slipped  the parking pass into my clutch and quickly answered the phone that was vibrating in my pocket for past 10 min. Furious as I was, I kept mumbling about the nuisances of mobile phones all the way up to the mall. 

"You don’t pick up the phone; you don’t reply to my missed calls; don’t you see my whastapp messages; How dare you block me; Kanjoos get a net pack; Cant you spend one rupee on text message"

Arghhhh! SHUT UP or I WILL SHOOT YOU!

I solely blame this device for what follows next.

After the movie, as I was heading towards Pantaloons, I realized I was missing something. Something was not at its place. I searched my pockets, then my bag, oh FUCK! Where are my keys! I rushed down the basement, recalling what must have happened. Oh the stupid mobile phone. I forgot to pull them out. By now the sweat was dripping down my forehead; my breaths, quick and shallow. I went to the place where I had parked my purple activa, MP 09 SG 1790, but instead of purple activa there was a same colored scooty! Oh what a coincidence, I wondered. She was gone! I talked to the guard, I couldn't find the parking slip as well; and he mocked, well obviously who wouldn't. What a stupid mistake. And also nature made me a woman, damn it! Although I agree to the fact, nothing can be worse than a female driver but I didn’t want to be that girl! I drive well enough! I know! And for god sake this is not the point here. Where do I find my activa now. It was not like it got towed and I just have to reach the nearest thane and get it. It was hard for me to accept the fact that it has been stolen. Still thanks to mumma being a follower of 'shivani ben', I couldn't go that negative. I decided to see the basement 1 where they check for shopping bills and if you haven't shopped above Rs 100, they charge you like 40 bucks! Easy way of making money, hah! Meanwhile I called my friends explaining the whole situation. I ran and panted; was about to shed a tear when I saw an unwashed purple activa, 179 and half a 0; I smiled with relief. I laughed and bumped into a car; Slow was its speed so no bruises there. I literally started jumping , all eyes staring at this mad girl. Well No problem dude, you have no idea what I was going through for past 20 minutes. Although the guards wouldn't let me have her, without showing the legal documents, which for obvious reasons I didn't have, I told them if she is safe here, I don’t have any problem, don’t give! I will come back after shopping and arrange for the papers. Wohooo!! I was taken aback by their security system and out of curiosity  asked them how they caught the thief. "madam uske paas parking slip nahi thi, hum kaise jaane dete. Hamare yahan camera lage hue hain, hame sab pata chal jaata hai." 

Oh so that pink little chit saved her! Until today I was completely ignorant of its importance. I thanked the guard, called up dad finally, asking where to look for the papers. I completely forgot dad is in Government and has contacts. A 2 minutes talk to an employee there, and she was freed. Keys in my hand! Till now I hadn't shopped anything. But parking activa back seemed a pretty bad idea, I hope you can grasp why. I preferred going to Westside with all my dignity intact. By now it was 5 pm and I was starving. I thought all I need is max 20 min and  I will be off home. But no!! It took me one and half hours to select the perfect top. As I was clearing my bill, "madam diwali offer in your card, if you shop above 1000 you get 250 deducted." Son of a bitch I murmured!

And again after one more hour I was finally done, hydrochloric acid had started eating my stomach! I quickly rushed home, humming songs on the way, happy and amazed at the Security, with a thought, ek note likhna toh banta hai… 

Jumping

Pakhi

A peek into my Heart

After receiving mixed comments over my previous blog (deleted now), I wasn't quite satisfied. For some it was too open of me to write such a thing, for others it was as if I am trying to give an open invitation. For me it was neither of that; indeed a modest entry by a girl to quench the loneliness that struck her for a while.

Anyway this post is nothing related to the former.

I started this blog as a diary in which I could pen down *sharable* day to day events, weird thoughts, special people, happy accidents, sad stories and you know! But now I really have to strain my brain to filter out as to what is possibly appropriate for me to post. Aaaah! How I wish I hadn't disclosed my identity before. Apparently I can't openly express my anguish over something neither can I blithely tell about the blushing incidents. I have to craftily write about who is being the pain in the arss and who is the next I am falling for! And it's no easy game if you are thinking so! Half of the time I discard what I have written after spending over an hour to it just coz' of the dreadful thought, "what if he/she reads it"!

How easy life would have been if one could act anonymous and be whatever he wants to. I tried a fake email id on fb when I was this crazy lil' punk kind girl. Added masses of people, flirted with guys (for back then I could not even do F of flirting if I was me) discussed things, got an insight into their life history after serving them a little of my fake family stories; I know it wasn’t the right thing to do, but it was purely fun and on the top of it I did make some awesome friends to whom I later on revealed my true self. I would make the other side cry of my miserable life or sometimes would tell about the fun friend circle, fake sisters I have  and blah-blah all to give a tint of reality to the fake profile; Although most of it was untrue, occasionally I slipped some of my deep dark secrets to the total strangers to get some consolation or different opinions over things which for a 16 year old must have been very important and yet she could never let anybody know them.

You must be wondering what a jobless coward girl! Yes I was one shy girl with pimples  and smudged kohl, bitten nails, only confident academically; when in my friend circle, oh no NO! I would cover my insecurities with a layer of tom boyishh attitude so that no one knows what the heart is pumping (other than blood, of course)!

It has not been long since I have overcome this feeling of timidness and have seen myself with more respect. Plus it has only made me happier; Also one of the reasons I face lesser mood swings now. I have stopped letting things (which directly point to me/my looks/my work/my anything) dwell in my heart and try to react with a good wit at the moment itself (feeling a sense of joy as I do that)! It's very important to value yourself if you want others to do so! More importantly if you want to live happy! I don’t say looks are secondary or everyone (especially girls) can accept that fact easily, for I couldn't. I can't skip the truth that only after reducing few kgs and taking a little care of my body and appearance, have I been able to achieve the confidence level I have now. I always wanted to be known by my work, and I am happy to be called the girl with the camera but now I don’t fear the teasers that come along with that.

Right from the heart

Pakhi