a page from college life

Note : No hard feelings for anyone. Fact of college life one realizes sooner or later.

31^st Oct, 2012

Wednesday

Room alone

Quiet a week. Third semester midsem exams over and I am failing in all yet again!  Feels like an achievement now. I remember that girl who cried when she couldn’t crack Bitsat and promised herself that she would score the best in her batch if she ends up in a B grade engineering college; only to find that it doesn’t matter altogether. Indeed you are savvy enough if you bunk those boring classes and sit at home; read a book of your taste or watch those pending movies. 

 All you get here is a bunch of aimless, confused, and jobless persons as your friends with whom first year definitely seems incredible fun. Alas! As the third semester approaches, the frequent bunking and going to nearby food stations, the local train journeys, the talks and gossips all seem to become a part of the boring college routine. The worst case being when you yourself become ‘the gossip’.  

It’s so funny that day by day nothing appears to change but when you look back you realize the unplanned college mess you belong to now; you start hating the person they turned you into; you start detesting the fact that you let them degrade you.

But believe me it’s never too late! All you need to do is find the place you got lost from, search for the right path and follow it. The cuts and bruises being the symbol for the learning you had while wandering in the jungle.

I, a second year engineering student of a B grade college have gone through it all and survived it. I still loathe that random urge I get to justify myself. But the question is to whom? And then I find myself sitting quietly in my room; making an entry on the laptop; thanking my family and friends for just being there.

pakhi

Theme : Capturing Indore


Subah uthkar garam garam poha jalebi nahi khaaya toh kya khaaya... 

I believe i did mention about my love for photography. Clicked this in one of the photowalks in Rajwadha, Indore. I just love this country for its colors! The vibrant colors people wear have some magical effect. They make everything look so beautiful and lively!

from saali to jiju...

It was jijus first birthday as my sisters husband and i just couldn't be more grateful to this person who has kept her past so safe and made her present so beautiful... 

Here is a letter i wrote to him.

Happy Birth Day!

Jijaji, Jiju, J!!! I thought of many names! I would practice saying it loud. I found it so funny, the way it is pronounced. Although took time but phew; finally got comfortable with the word as well as the person! A new member in the family, a new guardian for didi, a new relationship, it was all so new! But jiju we are glad you are there!

I really respect you for how you took all her problems as yours. How patiently you have helped her get over her mood swings. Of course at times she gets all fidgety and nervous and irritated but I am glad you are there for her. It took you no time to win our hearts; I see the glitter in moms and dads eyes when they watch their daughter so happily married!

We all love you for being you. So simple and planned! So full of energy and liveliness! Although didi is an unbeatable chatterbox and loud speaker, haha, we all love how light you make the atmosphere look. I always feared if she would get married to a family where they followed all customs and traditions, where aunties and uncles are strict and whenever I meet her I would be required to touch their feet and sit poker faced. But naah! It was such a delight to see what a zippy and peppy family she got married into.  What a loving and caring husband she got, just as she wanted.

Thank you for keeping her so happy and safe. Jiju (haha, look how comfortably I say it now) we are glad to have you as a part of her and our family! A very happy birthday once again!

pakhi

Game of Priorities

                                                           

18^th Oct,2012

Dads 53^rd bday

Family gathering

Feelings of love, anger, possessiveness which I felt yesterday surprised me and left me in tears.  Her marriage, her love for her husband, her new family has in no way changed her but changed her priorities for sure. Suddenly I felt like I lost the right to have a command over her life coz there was already someone for the same. I couldn’t gather the courage to ask her to stay with me the other night coz even if she would have stayed; she was theirs no matter what.

There is this saying in Hindi ‘beti shaadi k baad paraai hojaati hai’, well for me ‘meri didi paraai ho gai’. While she was in Hyderabad I never missed her so badly like I do now. Because then just the distances separated us but now it’s not merely the distance! It’s more than that. It’s slipping away of all those tantrums you could throw on her earlier. It’s missing those demands you could put on her without thinking. It’s buying me this dress from her salary. It’s closing the room and talking endlessly about things going on in life. It’s so many little things that constantly reminded me that I was her first priority back then. 

I kept wondering for a long time after that sudden filmy attack I got. Thanks to the radio for playing songs totally fit for the situation. Did mummy go through the same when mausi got married? Is it the same story for all the younger siblings?  Soon she will have a family to take care of and priorities will keep changing.

Does all this thinking mean I am emotional or too practical?

Pakhi